Bucket Of Memories
by Cabin3Demigod
Summary: Explore the memories of Remus Lupin's autistic twin, Romulus.
1. Five

~**1965**~

The little five year old boy obediently sat Indian-style on the carpet in the Doctor's office, trying his best not to play with his fingers. Mummy said it was a bad habit. She acted like it scared her. And since she was so frightened of him playing with his fingers all the time, she, Rom, and Mr. Lupin had come to this strange Doctor, leaving Remus with Gramma.

It seemed silly to send him to a Doctor and get all worked up just because he fiddled with his hands from time to time. But that was the reason his parents gave him. Romulus knew better, though. It wasn't just his fingers; it was him as a whole. Rom understood and accepted that he couldn't be the most normal child in the world. He didn't know his ABC's, he always got into trouble by doing things he never knew were bad, he failed at paying attention when it was needed, and so on. Yet Remus had the knowledge he required at this age, Remus seldom got in trouble (except for once a month, when Mummy and Daddy locked him up because that was the night he was usually bad), and enjoyed learning to the point that it became natural to see his nose buried in a book. Remus was normal. Rom was not. And thus the Doctor.

They'd been there for two hours now and the little boy was growing weary. He'd spent what felt like an eternity in a room with the Doctor, answering weird questions that he just hated because he was stupid and hadn't understood what the Doc had said most of the time. Rom had grown to despise the Doctor he was supposed to call 'Dr. M' for making him feel even more abnormal. Everyone knew he wasn't, he didn't have to be reminded.

Rom sighed and plopped his head into his lap. At that same instant, the doctor's office door opened up and the three adults stepped out. The boy looked up but refused to give Dr. M anything more than a glance while the man smiled slightly and instructed Mumma and Daddy to sit down in the white chairs behind Romulus. Rom puffed out his cheeks and only then did he really get a good glimpse of his Doctor.

"So…I believe we understand his case pretty well now," Dr. M started, examining his clipboard. He frowned and sighed, taking off his reading glasses to give the Lupin parents a saddened yet hopeful look. "Can you guess?"

"Idiotism? Stupidity?" John suggested, anything but jokingly. His wife slapped him hard on the arm. "No Doc, we can't," she said impatiently, not in the mood for guessing games if there was something wrong with her son.

"Romulus here…he has…he's got autisum."


	2. Eight

~**1968**~

The family sat around the large wooden and oval dinner table, laughing and catching up before the Christmas Dinner was eaten and the lot prayed together. You would have never known there was someone missing, how calm and normal they all were, how many people there were already at the table. Yet there were four people who knew, and one picked up on it first.

After a long prayer that dragged around the entire circle of people, Grandmother Lupin eyed her son and called out, "John, where's little Romulus?" The middle-aged man stopped his hand in midair above the platter of assorted vegetables and looked up at his Mother guiltily. "Uh…upstairs?" He tried to laugh and play it off by glancing at his son Remus for faux confirmation. He knew. Of course he knew. He'd left him upstairs intentionally.

Remus shrugged and accepted the grilled piece of chicken that his Mother handed him. John grit his teeth and turned back to his glaring Mother. Her grandson hadn't verified a thing, so she understood what was going on. Her son had been treating little Romulus very wrongly since they had arrived the day before. He'd participated in teasing the child with his brother Ethan when Romulus couldn't recite Shakespeare in German and a monkey costume; tossed banana peels at him when he didn't follow the directions on how to make jello for the big feast ;even screamed at the poor eight year old for wanting to stare at the wheel of his toy truck instead of showing off his ability to spell twelve letter words to his Aunts and cousin. Grandmother Lupin understood very well. John was ashamed for silly reasons, and he acted like a bully because of that. Towards his own son, the act was completely childish, rude, and unacceptable in his Mother's terms.

"John," she said warningly. "You stop being so rude to that boy and let him downstairs, right this instant! It's not his fault he's not like everyone else." John's wife sighed and picked up her purse, knowing what was going to happen next. Her husband never backed down from a fight, no matter who he was picking it with, and especially when it came to their challenged little son. She grabbed Remus' hand and moved him out of the way as John slammed his fists on the wood (leaving a dent) and seethed at Grandmother Lupin.

"He is like everyone else goddammit! One of these days you'll see, all of you!" He glanced back at the stairs and roared, "ROMULUS GET DOWN HERE, WERE GOING HOME."

"Don't yell at him like that!" Grandmother shouted, standing up and smiling sadly once a messy brown head bobbed into the distance. "What took you so long?" John demanded, grabbing Romulus roughly by the shoulder and ignoring his Mother. The eight year old wrestled himself out of his father's grip, wincing. "Dad, I had to get my bag!"

"Yeah, well don't be so slow next time." John pushed him over to his wife and luckily she caught her son in her arms before he fell to the floor.

Uncle Ethan stood up and shook his head. "Johnny boy, you've got to get better at this. I don't care if he's normal or not. Mom raised us to treat people equally, especially your own kid."

John jabbed a finger at him. "_You_ shut up! You don't know how to raise a kid! Your kid's dead!" Ethan hopped onto the table with fury in his eyes and threw his brother back. "At least I'm not being crazy, treating MY KID like that and having him and everyone else mark you as the WORST FATHER IN THE WORLD."

John took a few quick steps and tossed his fist out at his brother's face, but his sister's son stopped his it. Ethan scrambled back, dirtying the back of his pants with peas. John looked around the table, huffing, and saw the disgruntled, disappointed expressions on everyone's face- even his wife's. Once his fist was released, he stared down at the table and sighed. "Honey, go put the kids in the car." They had to drive a car because Grandmother Lupin lived in a Muggle neighborhood and Romulus fell off a broom every time before take off anyhow.

Mrs. Lupin nodded and took Romulus' hand, giving Remus his satchel afterwards before leading the twins out of the door, tears in her eyes. She hated how John treated their son. He wasn't physically abusive- he'd never been. In fact he was only verbally abusive to Rom alone and anyone that openly took his side as far as she knew. She wiped at her eyes and said child peered up at her with a confused look. He didn't think anything of Mr. Lupin's behavior; father always did that with him. It was like a game, and if Rom lost he would be punished. Hopefully he'd won this time around.

"Mummy, can I ask you something?" he questioned as they quietly strode to their car. John wasn't anywhere in sight yet.

She nodded and smiled down at him, ruffling his hair with her free hand. Rom blushed and smiled too. "Mumma, I heard Uncle say that Dad was the worst father in the world. Does that mean he's a bad Dad?"

The child's Mother sighed and nodded again. "Rom, I don-," she started, hoping to quiet him down, but he cut her off again. "Do you think I'll be a good Daddy one day?"

Remus raised an eyebrow at his Mother. He'd always been supportive of his brother yet this was something he didn't truly know about. She chuckled half-heartedly. "Both of you will be."

"Better than Dad?" Rem asked.

"I hope so."


	3. Eleven

~**1971**~

"Bye Mum, bye Dad!" Remus grinned as he raced and followed his younger brother into the train.

"Bye son!" Mrs. Lupin called out, clutching a handkerchief in case her eyes betrayed her and forced her to cry. Her little boys were growing up.

The dark-haired woman's husband stood firmly beside her in a warrior-like stance. John never cried. He didn't have to beg himself not to; his emotional range was just that thick. He took his wife's arm and pulled her back as the train spouted steam and the doors were sealed shut. Rom and Rem had managed to snag a train in the front with four suspicious kids, so that they could get their good-byes over with early. They hated seeing their Mother cry and it was embarrassing. This way, they'd be gone before she had time to think about the years that led up to this moment and give her the time to form tears.

The train began to pull off, slowly at first, and Mrs. Lupin laid her head on her husband's shoulder, waving at where she could clearly see her two boys. The twins gave her weak waves, already blushing from humiliation. They were happy when the train started to speed up and out of sight. Remus turned back to see that the other four children were waving at their crying parents and smirked. Perhaps it wasn't going to be so bad at Hogwarts.

Once all the sobbing, gleeful parents were gone, the six kids all studied each other. The first thing Rom noticed: they were all boys. Good. He didn't know what he'd have done if the first person he'd encountered had been of the opposite sex; the eleven year old had absolutely no experience with women unless they were older and related to him or younger and his sister. He might have been a bit off his rocker, yet he was certain that most girls his age wouldn't enjoy a granny hug or a noogie.

The first boy he noticed looked very much like Rom himself in appearance. He had disheveled brown hair, blue eyes, and he was- his brother. '_Smart one Rom_.' The next kid had black hair, hazel eyes, and sported an evidently brand new '**I love Quidditch!**' t-shirt; the boy sitting across from him was black-haired, grey-eyed, light-skinned, and looked like MickJagger in the face; there was a snoring plump kid sitting directly across from Rom who appeared to be the most disgusting: blue eyes, pale skin, and mousy brown hair. Like a vampire. The last lad had a rat-face and brown hair similar to that of Rom's and his brother's. He seemed shy. Surprisingly, he was the first to speak up. Putting his hand up a bit to gain attention, he said, "I'm Joey Mclntyre, hiya."

The Quidditch-loving kid nodded in his direction. "Yo, what's up. My name's James." He gave a careless little wave and MickJagger chuckled, following the introduction with a, "Yo, yo, I'm Sirius." Remus laughed and nudged Rom. "Yo, yo, yo, I'm Remus!"

"Yo, yo, I'm Rom!" Romulus exclaimed, clapping. Remus shook his head, laughing even harder. "You missed a yo."

"More like two," Sirius said, and everyone (except for the sleeping mouse boy) burst out laughing, even Rom.

Sirius, feeling as if he were on a roll, pulled a quill out of his jeans pocket. He put his finger over his lips to get the others to quiet down. Smirking, Siri turned the quill to the pointy side and aimed it at Mr. Sleepyhead. Rom raised an eyebrow but everyone else was grinning from ear to ear. He went to ask what the quill was needed for but found out as soon as it was tossed and a loud squeal sounded from where Mousy sat.

He frowned and glanced over to the spot where the boy was. "You okay?" The kid couldn't hear him because he was already making too much noise, moving and sitting up and apologizing.

Sirius smacked his lips, grinning and raising a brow. "KID, what's your name?"

Mousy's eyes widened at the comment directed at him. "Peter, Peter Pettigrew," he said quickly, and the four boys who'd been laughing all along snickered loudly. Rom frowned even deeper and glanced over at his brother, Sirius, James and Joey. They weren't paying him any attention as they got into a conversation. Sighing, the isolated twin stood and slowly went over to where Peter sat. He held out a friendly hand. "Hey there Peter, I'm Rom."

Peter smiled and shook Rom's hand with his own tiny one. "Hello Rom." And with that, the two outsiders began their own little discussion.

All of the first years stood on top of the stage, shaking in anxiousness. Most of them had established friendships with others on the train and received comfort from them, while others without so much as one companion participated in habits such as biting their nails, or chewing their lower lip. Remus, Sirius and James were in the comfort group, while Peter and Romulus- who were most likely forgotten by the former boys already- had no anxiety at all. They'd spoken about houses on their side of the car, and settled on Ravenclaw. Peter was fairly smart and Rom desired to be smart to make his father proud.

"Macdonald, Mary!" called the tall pointy-hatted teacher they'd been instructed to refer to as 'Professor McGonagall'. They all watched a petite blond girl sit at the stool and have the Sorting Hat placed on her head. It was only moments prior to the hat shouting, "Gryffindor!" Peter and Romulus intentionally yawned and patted their lips. "Wonder how many kids get sorted into that boring old house every year," Peter mumbled, causing Rom to chuckle slightly.

"Lupin, Remus!" Rom went to nudge his brother and tell him good luck, but James already had that under control. He frowned, stepping back to Peter. A few moments, and then…

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Believing the house to have been Ravenclaw by default, Rom cheered along with the Gryffindor table. Not until he saw Remus' matted hair bobbing over to the sea of gold and red did he realize that his twin had been sorted into stupid Gryffindor. Maybe because he wasn't as smart as Peter, or didn't have the potential to be intelligent like Rom? The unsorted twin shrugged and automatically strode up proudly to the stool, pumping his chest out before McGonagall even called his name. He was always after Remus. Perhaps in a different house, he could shine for once.

The hat clamped down onto his head and began muttering incoherent things in his ears. Rom squirmed around uncomfortably; it was just plain awkward. He couldn't listen to what the bloody thing was saying because it annoyed him so, which was the precise reason that he was overly shocked when the hat yelled, "SLYTHERIN!"

"NO!" Rom shouted, standing up and throwing the hat into McGonagall's hands. Yet no one heard him over the roars coming from the silver and green table. He smiled smugly and hopped off the stage, trotting over to them with a sudden eagerness. If he and Peter were alike- and they were, very much- then Pete would be sorted into Slytherin too! He grinned and sat beside an older, fair haired boy as he waited for his friend to be sorted.

Potter was sorted with Remus and Peter….Peter got sorted into Gryffindor also. Rom sat at the table, shell-shocked. He was all alone. He knew no one. And from what he'd heard about Slytherin in the hall, he was evil, too.

"Hey Ron, you gonna eat that?"

Romulus looked up from his plate, only to find one of the boys he and his brother had first encountered on the train to Hogwarts a few hours prior. If he remembered correctly, the boy's name was Sirius: totally the opposite of his name, eleven years of age, Gryffindor and overall arsehole.

"First off, the name is Rom to _friends_. To_ you_, the name is Romulus. And by the end of this year trust that you _will_know I'm not one to mess with permy boy. You can find out a bit faster by referring to me as 'Ron' one. More. Time," he spat out through gritted teeth.

Sirius frowned and stepped back. "I just-."

"You just nothing _Dufus_." By this time, half of the Slytherin table was watching Rom deliver the hateful words, his thin lips twisting into a sneer as his words bit at the boy before him like multiple, venomous serpents piercing his skin.

"Get away from here and find your path back to the pre-pubescent git table before something _very bad_ happens, okay?"

Sirius gulped, hurt in his eyes as he spun around angrily and stormed back to the Gryffindors.

"And yes- I _do_ desire my bangers and mash, thank you very much," Rom called out, seating himself back comfortably in his place.

Those housemates around him began whistling, some of the older ones coming over and patting him on the back.

"Woohoo!"

"Ten points to Slytherin."

"_That_ kid knows what he's doing."

"You show that sorry Gryffindor! Loyal my arse!"

After a few minutes, all the hype died down and everyone was back to doing whatever activity they'd been participating in before. Eating. Talking. _Snogging_.

Rom was sipping his pumpkin juice when the person next to him tapped his shoulder. He glanced up and nearly spat out his drink. It was a _girl_.

"Hello," she said brightly, holding out her hand. "I'm Kris Stephens, second year. You?"

Rom quickly darted his hand out so he could shake hers. "Romulus John Lupin...first year," he blushed.

The girl nodded, giggling. "I can tell. Enjoy your stay John." She turned away to continue talking with her friends.

Rom gazed admiringly at her as she spoke. '_Her lips...like waterfalls...ponies in...spring..._"

He studied his new crush's left arm as it fell down beside him.

Little did he know that in time it would behold the Dark Mark.


End file.
